HAPPY 40th BIRTHDAY TO ME!
Jase, Molly, and I are having a Birthday Backpacking WEEK of fun!
With Jase and my birthdays being just 4 days apart, we have a tradition where we go on a backpacking/hiking trip in Colorado. For those of you not familiar with backpacking, it’s where you carry a pack with all of your essentials (tent, sleeping bag, water, food, clothes, etc) into the wilderness and choose your own adventure.
I do it for the views. And to be with my favorites. Outside of that, I prefer a king size bed 🙂
I am turning the BIG 4*0!
I honestly can’t be more excited to see what this decade brings.
I spent the last decade running my body into the ground (quite literally), struggling with disordered eating, body image issues, and quite frankly- never feeling enough.
It was also in the last decade that I recovered from adrenal burnout, learned how to lift weights, get STRONGER and focus on the weight on the barbell (and not the scale), improved my relationship with food, fitness, and body image… and met the BEARDED BABE of my dreams (aka: husband Jase)… and our pup, Molly.
Did you know there was a time in my life that I didn’t eat birthday cake?
Or much of anything. I feared the calories and carbs and actually believed that I had to “earn” my cake by exercising more. I lived for years in this vicious cycle.
One year I was out of town with some friends on my birthday and my friends got me this amazing large chocolate cake from Whole Foods (I LOVE chocolate… and Whole Foods). It was definitely meant to be shared with a lot of friends!
My friends sang to me and I enjoyed a slice of cake with them. And then a slice the next day and the next day. I even had some with my breakfast. As I was leaving to go home, my friends told me to take the cake home. Well, on my 6 hour drive home I proceeded to actually eat sections of the cake (yes, while driving)! When I finally made it home to my house I still had a few slices left. I thought, why not just finish the damn cake and have it out of the house for good.
So I ate the remaining slices and then was left with feelings of fullness BUT pure emptiness. I felt so ashamed, guilty, and embarrassed. I felt like a failure and I felt like there was nothing I could do but start over the next day by eating “clean” and over-exercising at the gym. Trust me: there were many cakes, chocolate bars, cookies, etc. that I binged on over the years.
There was a dark time in my life when I struggled so much with my body image, over-exercising, and food restrictions (which always led to binging and feelings of guilt). I learned that all of the body image issues and feelings of shame and disgust about my body weren’t true body image issues BUT a way of redirecting painful emotions onto my body in attempt to cope with trauma.
I hated living this way so I quit competitive ultra-running, took up lifting weights, and spent years working with a Nutrition Coach to help guide me in learning how to fuel my body and give myself grace. I finally learned that I am worthy and deserve to feel great and look great. Since I started fueling my body (and eating > 300g Carbs) and dealing with the underlying issues of my body image, I am proud to say that I have never again lost control of my eating.
I want you to know that you are not alone on your journey. I have been there, and so many of our clients have been there too.
I believe that YOU too are worthy and deserve food that is both fuel and pleasure, balanced fitness, and body love. Reaching your goals will happen faster if you’re loving and fueling your body instead of battling against it. I promise. It’s amazing what happens when you start FUELING your body and STOP punishing yourself. And sure- maybe it takes longer than some quick fix diets, but then you get to live a life where you never have to restrict again.
It’s my first year in my 40’s.
Life is too short to not enjoy the damn cake.
Ready to stop battling your body and need help learning how to love and fuel it?
Learn about our personalized nutrition/fitness coaching program and see if you would be a good fit by clicking below to apply for a FREE Discovery Call.